Whitey oppressing Bonds

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Unread postby jaster on Thu Aug 02, 2007 6:02 pm

stillsomeguy wrote:While attending a joint aircraft maintenance symposium, an Air Force officer and a Navy officer are standing at the urinal in the men’s room during a much-needed break.

After finishing their business, the Air Force officer washes his hands while the Navy officer combs his hair and checks his gig-line.

The Air Force officer says, “In the Air Force, they teach us to wash our hands after urinating.”

The Navy officer says, “In the Navy, they teach us not to pee on our hands.”


Ummm, it helps me grip my bat better? Haha.


A young Ensign approached a crusty old Master Chief and asked about the origin of the commissioned officer insignias.

"Well," replied the Master Chief, "the insignias for the Navy are steeped in history and tradition. As an Ensign, we give you a gold bar, representing that you are very valuable but also malleable. The silver bar of a Lieutenant Junior Grade also represents significant value, but is less malleable. Now, when you make Lieutenant, your value doubles, hence the two silver bars. As a Captain, you soar over the common sailors, hence the eagle. And when you make Admiral, you are obviously a star. Does that answer your question?"

"Yes, Master Chief," replied the young Ensign. "But what about Lieutenant Commanders and Commanders?"

"That, Sir, goes waaaay back in history - back to the Garden of Eden. You see, we've always covered our pricks with leaves."
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Unread postby jaster on Thu Aug 02, 2007 6:05 pm

Oh and as an aircraft maintenance guy, I like these too....


Q: How can you tell if there's a fighter pilot at your party?

A: He'll tell you.

Q: How can you tell when your date with a fighter pilot is half over?

A: He says, "But enough about me... Wanna hear about my plane?"

Q: What's the difference between a jet engine and a fighter pilot?

A: A jet engine will stop whining when you shut the plane down.
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Unread postby jaster on Thu Aug 02, 2007 6:08 pm

mshockeynorth wrote:Jaster good luck. Are you still planning on a move to Chicago this fall?

I desperately want to move to the Chicago area, but at this point it looks like my wife and I will be staying in Wichita for about 6-12 months. I'll be looking to line up a job in Chicago all the while though. In fact, I was looking around to learn more about the railroad industry (I'm trying to entertain all possibilities) and I somehow came across this SNL transcript.....

http://snltranscripts.jt.org/94/94nrailroad.phtml

Haha, it was a nice comedic break from my mundane internet searches.
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Unread postby stillsomeguy on Fri Aug 03, 2007 9:35 am

jaster wrote:"That, Sir, goes waaaay back in history - back to the Garden of Eden. You see, we've always covered our pricks with leaves."


:lol:

Very true...which is one of the reasons why I dropped my letter as an O-3. (In the Reserves, anyone with a beating heart makes O-4 and, in practicality, is looked at as still being a junior officer).

Oh, and I never met a Chief in the Navy who could call an Ensign "sir" without that look-- the one as though he was just force-fed a steaming pile. :D
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Unread postby stillsomeguy on Fri Aug 03, 2007 9:37 am

jaster wrote:Oh and as an aircraft maintenance guy, I like these too....


Q: How can you tell if there's a fighter pilot at your party?

A: He'll tell you.

Q: How can you tell when your date with a fighter pilot is half over?

A: He says, "But enough about me... Wanna hear about my plane?"

Q: What's the difference between a jet engine and a fighter pilot?

A: A jet engine will stop whining when you shut the plane down.


Q: What's the difference between a Navy pilot and an Air Force pilot?
A: A Navy pilot breaks ground and flies into the wind.
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Unread postby stillsomeguy on Fri Aug 03, 2007 9:43 am

Q: Why don't Navy pilots wear ascots with their flight suits?
A: Because they want to look like fly boys, not joy boys.

(Yeah, I know, not all that funny, but true).
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Unread postby stillsomeguy on Sun Aug 05, 2007 10:13 am

Journalists are too smart, too professional and much too savy to fall for the 'ol fake name trick, aren't they?

Bomb scare closes U.S. 176

By Nita Birmingham
Originally published 12:00 a.m., August 5, 2007
Updated 09:35 a.m., August 5, 2007

The Federal Bureau of Investigation said there was 'no immediate threat' after a portion of St. James Avenue, U.S. Highway 176, in Goose Creek was shut down for several hours Saturday evening.

Authorities closed the road near the Devon Pointe Apartments about 7 p.m. after a traffic stop, and it was still closed as of press time.
By 11:20 p.m. there were more than a dozen police cars, fire trucks and an ambulance surrounding a gray sedan. A bomb squad robot was looking into the trunk of the car, and the passenger's door was open. The Red Cross had also arrived on the scene.

At 11:45 p.m., Julie Johnson, assistant special agent in charge, FBI-Columbia, told reporters amassed at the Kingdom Hall of Jehovah's Witnesses that there was no immediate threat but she would answer no questions. She said the FBI was still trying to determine if a crime had been committed.

She said the agency was working with state and local agencies, and that they were going to be there a long time.

A witness, Jack Knuoff, said that at about 6 p.m. he saw police make a traffic stop where three police officers were talking with one man who might have been of Middle Eastern descent.

Knuoff, who was sitting at the scene in a lawn chair, said he didn't think the stop was important, and went home, but returned after his brother called to say more police had been called to the scene.

http://www.charleston.net/news/2007/aug ... k_highway/

I wonder if Knuoff's friend, Mike Hunt, was a witness, too?
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Unread postby heyfolks on Tue Aug 07, 2007 1:53 pm

http://sports.aol.com/fanhouse/category ... ack-ances/


I wonder why this never got any sports news ink?
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Unread postby heyfolks on Thu Dec 13, 2007 9:05 pm

heyfolks wrote:Bonds is the poster child for steroid use in part because he is an ass. the guy just isn't well liked. Macquire was out of the game right when the steroid scandal broke. Hell, he helped break with his use of Andro. Palmero opened his mouth in the " I didn't have sexual relations" finger waving rant that led to him getting the scarlet letter release form the league. Giambi admitted it and is cooperating so he gets some relief.

HOWEVER

the guy who should be getting some flack and is not, is one Roger Clemmens. His rookie year was about 200 pounds today 240. Didn't Jason Grimsley named him, as well as his buddy Andy Pettitte, as users of athletic performance enhancing drugs? Didn't Grimsley say he he recived human growth hormone from someone recommended to him by, former Yankees trainer Brian McNamee. Isn't McNamee a personal strength coach for Clemens and Pettitte. McNamee was hired by Clemens in 1997, wasn't this the year in which he had his best season? Didn't he win 4 more Cy Young Awards after that? I think 16 players have been suspended for steroids and at least 10 were pitchers.

So Barry hit home runs using the cream and pitchers threw fastballs to him using the cream. Not saying it was right but Bonds is chasing some record this sport has made mystical, while being an arrogant, distant putz. Really if he were 130 pounds, he would still be disliked.

i did hear he was pushing for his dog to be the new giant mascot.

http://spluch.blogspot.com/2007/07/big- ... ippet.html




Yeah that Mitchell report today was enlightening. Man, I could have written that report for half the cost and completed it it in a day!

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Unread postby PokerAndPucks on Fri Dec 14, 2007 3:39 pm

Back to the topic....


I don't hate Bonds because he's black. I hate him because he's an egotistical, elitist bastard who thinks that he's better than everyone else, including his teammates, because he's good at baseball. Just like Clemens.
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